Shop 'Til You Drop
by Eladard Kikur
Summary: When Lucy and Ethel go on a shopping trip, it won't go as well as they planned it...


On a pleasant day, Lucy and Ethel were reading some catalogs from some department stores. The two girls were planning a shopping day where they'll go to several stores and try to see how much they can spend.  
  
"Ethel, look! This store's having a 75% off sale tomorrow!" Lucy said excitedly.  
  
"Really? That's the eighth store that's having a sale tommorw!" Ethel chirped.  
  
"What should we tell Ricky and Fred? Do you think that they'll let us go shopping tomorrow?" Lucy asked.  
  
"I don't think that they'll even GIVE us the money to do our shopping! "Ethel replied half-heartedly.  
  
"Ohh, if there's a way to get the money without getting Ricky mad...," Lucy murmured.  
  
"Just tell him that you're going to do something that he won't object to," suggested Ethel.  
  
"Like what?" Lucy asked.  
  
"Like buying something for him," Ethel answered.  
  
"Good idea!" Lucy exclaimed.  
  
The next morning, Lucy woke up and, without moving her whole body, looked to see if Ricky was awake. Sure enough, the sometimes hot-tempered Cuban band leader was fast asleep. In order to not disturb Ricky, the zany redhead housewife *SLOWLY* slid her body to the right side of her bed. Lucy looked at Ricky to make sure that he's still asleep. As quietly as possible, Lucy got out of bed and took off her nightgown. The redhead was wearing her clothes under her nightgown, a smart idea that would save her time in getting ready. Lucy snuck out of the bedroom and shut the door quietly so that Ricky doesn't wake up. She then crept to the front door and found Ethel waiting in the hallway.  
  
"Ready to hit the sales, Partner?" Lucy quietly asked Ethel.  
  
The two department storebound girls reached the first store just as soon as it opened. Lucy and Ethel ran around the store grabbing and trying on numerous dresses. After selecting about 12 dresses, Lucy and Ethel were ready to pay for them. When Lucy walked up to the register, a large woman cut in front of Lucy. The woman handed the cashier the items she was going to pay. While the cashier was ringing up the clothes, Lucy was a bit peeved about the woman.  
  
"Ugh...excuse me, Miss?" Lucy asked while tapping the woman's shoulder. "I don't want to ruffle any feathers, but-"  
  
"Hurry up an' tell me whatever yer tryin' to say!" the woman interupted Lucy.  
  
"I was here first and you cut in front of me. I don't think that was very polite of you, Miss," Lucy resumed.  
  
"Yeah, so what if it ain't polite!" the woman remarked.  
  
"Well, you wouldn't like it if I cut in front of you!" Lucy said to the woman.  
  
"An' if you DO try ta pull somethin' like that, I'll make sure that you don't do that again!" the woman told Lucy in a threating manner.  
  
"Well! Talk about waking up on the wrong side of the bed!" Lucy exclaimed.  
  
"Ugh, Lucy? I think that you should quit while you're ahead...," Ethel whispered to Lucy.  
  
"Nahh...I'm on a roll here, Ethel!" Lucy whispered back to Ethel.  
  
The cashier finished giving the woman in front her stuff, so Lucy and Ethel were able to pay for their dresses. The two housewives went over to the shoe store for their next shopping spree. While at the store, Lucy and Ethel walked down the aisles, checking out the different shoes on the racks. Ethel pulled out a box of a fancy pair of sandals to get a better look and maybe try them on.  
  
"Hey, Lucy? How do these look on me?" Ethel asked Lucy.  
  
"Oh...Ethel! Those are so beautiful!Those look fit for a queen!" Lucy exclaimed.  
  
"I feel more like a peasant with a cheapscape husband!" Ethel joked.  
  
Ethel put the sandals back onto the rack and looked at another pair. As Ethel was preocupied with a pair of red high heels, several boxes from the top shelf came crashing down on poor Ethel!  
  
"LUCY! LUCY! HELP! I'M BEING ATTACKED BY EXPENSIVE SHOES!!!" Ethel screamed as all of the boxes fell onto the floor.  
  
"HEY! I just put those shoes onto the shelves, ladies!" someone yelled angerly at the girls.  
  
The person yelling was noneother than the store manager himself. The tall, thirty-something male in the expensive business suit walked over to the confused Lucy and Ethel. The girls were obviously trying to think up of a scheme to get themselves out of the frying pan and into the next store.  
  
"Excuse my, Mister, but there were a couple of teenage boys who caused the shoes to fall on us! I saw them run into the 'EMPLOYEES ONLY' room right after Ethel screamed! Honest!" Lucy told the manager. Lucy was always the one who came up with crazy harebrained stories to get out of trouble.  
  
"What did those juvenile delinquents look like, Ma'am?" the manager asked.  
  
"Oh! They were huge young men, about sixteen or seventeen years old!" Lucy explained in her "exaggerating" voice. "The guys had messy black hair like this!" Lucy rub her hands in her hair to show the manager how the boys' hair looked like. "They had small, beady, green eyes too! They were hideous, I tell you!" Lucy made a sinister face to show the manager. Ethel was next to Lucy and she tried not to laugh at this latest far-fetched tale.  
  
"Okay, I'll go in that room and drag those no-good boys outta this store! I appogize for all of this trouble, ladies. I'll give you a 'GET A FREE PAIR' coupon to make up all of this trouble," the manager said.  
  
After leaving the shoe store, Lucy and Ethel headed to some more stores. Around noon, the two girls finished their shopping. A ride on the subway would be a good idea to get home. While on the sub, Lucy and Ethel fell asleep. They were up too early, so a quick nap would be a good way to pass the time...or not.  
  
"Hey, Ethel. I don't think that this is our stop," Lucy said after waking up. She got up and looked out the window to see where the sub stopped at.  
  
"What do you mean that this is not our stop?" Ethel asked.  
  
"Let's go ask someone where we're at," Lucy suggested.  
  
The two girls picked up their shopping bags and stepped off the sub. They found a young gentleman reading a newspaper by the stairway. Lucy and Ethel put their bags down and began to ask the man.  
  
"Excuse me, Sir, but can you tell me where we are?" Ethel asked the man.  
  
"Why, don't you two ladies know your way around the city?" the man joked.  
  
"Well, we took the sub to get home from shopping and we fell asleep. I guess we were up too early," Ethel told the man.  
  
Another man walked behind the two lost girls and took their bags without them noticing. The man that Ethel was asking began to run towards the other man.  
  
"Hey! Where are you going?" Lucy asked.  
  
"Well, I gotta catch the next sub with my brother! Nice talkin' to you ladies!" the man replied.  
  
"Can you believe that, Ethel?! Those men must have been working together to steal our stuff!" Lucy cried.  
  
The two girls found a police officer who would probably help them out. The police officer was standing in a corner surveying the area for any activity.  
  
"Excuse me, Sir, but we need your help!" Lucy told the officer.  
  
"What's the trouble, ladies?" the officer replied.  
  
"Some guy stole our bags! We spent the whole morning and $723581 on those clothes!" Ethel told the officer.  
  
"Okay, okay. Calm down, lady. Now, describe the thief so that I can track him down and take him into jail," the officer relpied.  
  
"How should we know what the thife looked like?! He stole our stuff when we had our backs turned!" Lucy yelled at the officer.  
  
"Yelling at an officer is a serious offense. You two are coming down to the station with me," the officer said. He handcuffed Lucy and Ethel, then he took them to the police station. A couple hours later, Ricky and Fred came to the station.  
  
"Lucy! What happened to you?" Ricky asked.  
  
"Well, Ethel and I went shopping and some lady cut in front of me, shoes fell on Ethel, we got off at the wrong stop, someone stole our stuff, and the police man arrested us because I yelled at him! Everything was a disaster! Waaaaah!" Lucy told Ricky. She started to cry since nothing went right.  
  
"How much did you girls spend, anyways?" Fred asked.  
  
"I think it was around $723581," Ethel replied.  
  
"$723581?!? HOW CAN YOU GIRLS SPEND ALL OF THAT?!" Fred exclaimed.  
  
"Don't worry, Fred. That's what checks are for," Ethel answered.  
  
"By the way, girls. We got some calls from the stores and it turns out that the checks bounced," Ricky said.  
  
"OH NO!!!" the girls yelled.  
  
"Looks like we can't bail you girls out," Fred laughed.  
  
"Fred! I'll leave YOU in here if you don't stop that!" Ethel yelled.  
  
The police officer can to the door of the cell and opened it for the girls to leave. After all of the crazy events that occurred that day, the girls will be happy to go home and get some well-deserved rest. 


End file.
